‘Mindful gifting’ could be the kindest thing you do for yourself and others this Christmas

This year’s Christmas advert from UK department store John Lewis is notable for its emotional impact and captivating storytelling. In it, a middle-aged former raver is gifted a vintage vinyl record by his son. The focus is on this fairly modest gift, which quietly speaks a language of love amid the noise and excess of the festivities.

The gift, seemingly secondhand^[1], carries meaning far beyond its monetary value, illustrating that the social benefits of gifting are available without heavy environmental costs. This resonates with what we, in our research, have termed “mindful gifting”^[2], where thoughtful gifts have the ability to generate immense joy and celebrate connection.

Every year, the holiday season arrives with a familiar contradiction. People want to show love, yet feel overwhelmed by the pressure to buy more, spend more and wrap everything in glittering plastic or paper.

This seasonal pressure begins earlier each year^[3]. December is now one of the most environmentally damaging^[4] months across the world. Around three in five^[5] UK adults receive unwanted Christmas gifts each year, representing an estimated £1.2 billion in wasted spending.

Consumers navigate the Christmas period bombarded with messaging around deals and the expectation to buy more. Amid the deepening climate crisis^[6], and at a time when many people struggle with financial anxiety, the idea that having more things equates to greater happiness is becoming increasingly hard to justify.

However, our research has found that there is a way to give that genuinely supports wellbeing, for both giver and receiver.

Read more: Christmas can be stressful for many people – here’s what can help you get through the festive season^[7]

This mindful gifting is reflected in the choices, practices and rituals of both givers and receivers that show consideration of the consequences of the gift for themselves and others (and for the planet). This approach allows giving to advance a broader social good, more closely reflecting the spirit of the season.

Mindful gifting brings together research on more thoughtful consumption and offers a practical approach to giving and receiving that signals love without the pressure of overspending and accumulating clutter.

Our research^[8] indicates that mindful giving has a greater positive effect on overall wellbeing and creates less waste than conventional festive shopping. Homemade presents, meaningful experiential gifts such as a surprise trip to a favourite place, and gifts that support the recipient (for instance, a carefully chosen book with a thoughtful dedication) or benefit others (such as a donation in their name), can boost the wellbeing of both the giver and receiver far more effectively than impulse purchases.

Likewise, thoughtfully crafted wrapping made from reused paper or fabric can show real attentiveness. When giving to others, people tend to overestimate^[9] how much recipients expect to be spent, leading to expensive gifts that create pressure^[10], suspicion^[11] or guilt. Instead, the most-valued gifts^[12] are personalised, sentimental and grounded in empathy, particularly in difficult situations.

Mindful receiving is also important. This means gracious acceptance, regifting to those who would appreciate the item more and cutting out unnecessary packaging.

In earlier research, we found that the “perfect gift”^[13], a term beloved by retailers, has little salience for gift recipients. Instead, people tend to remember “the best gift ever” as one full of personal meaning that arises from a genuine understanding of them by the giver. Often it entails experiences shared with the giver that linger long after the physical gift fades from memory.

For Faye, one of the participants in our research, the best gift ever was a Nutcracker-themed treasure hunt that her father had created with clues around the house leading to a doll under the Christmas tree. This was followed by a trip to the Nutcracker ballet.

Another interviewee still treasures a hand-me-down doll’s pram that she received as a child, just after the second world war. Although it was supposed to have been left by Father Christmas, she recognised her sister’s toy and understood the work her dad had put into repainting and restoring it for her.

These stories reflect our new findings on mindful gifting: care, awareness, attentiveness and appreciation in gift exchanges are the real drivers of the most cherished presents.

Mindful gifting does not necessarily mean giving less. It means slowing down and taking the time to find (and appreciate) gifts that carry meaning and express genuine affection. Choosing gifts more carefully might even transform the festive season from a source of stress, excessive expense and waste into one of deeper purpose and meaningful bonds. Mindful gifting is a path to connection, not to consumerism.

It is a quiet yet profound way to say that you care, as the boy in the advert and the record for his father capture so beautifully.

References

1. ^{^} secondhand (theconversation.com)
2. ^{^} “mindful gifting” (onlinelibrary.wiley.com)
3. ^{^} begins earlier each year (theconversation.com)
4. ^{^} environmentally damaging (www.gwp.co.uk)
5. ^{^} three in five (www.finder.com)
6. ^{^} climate crisis (theconversation.com)
7. ^{^} Christmas can be stressful for many people – here’s what can help you get through the festive season (theconversation.com)
8. ^{^} Our research (onlinelibrary.wiley.com)
9. ^{^} tend to overestimate (www.sciencedirect.com)
10. ^{^} create pressure (www.sciencedirect.com)
11. ^{^} suspicion (onlinelibrary.wiley.com)
12. ^{^} most-valued gifts (www.emerald.com)
13. ^{^} “perfect gift” (www.sciencedirect.com)