The ‘romantic’ advertising tricks that give you unrealistic expectations of love

The run up to February 14 is a good time for selling certain products. And alongside the jewellery and flowers, advertisers also try to sell us something broader: a notion of what we should consider romantic.

This might involve an idyllic and perfectly filmed holiday destination, or the casting of a glamorous Hollywood star to represent a particular perfume. For research has shown that advertising can shape our expectations^[1] of what love should look like – from the perfect partner to the things we should buy for them.

It’s become a familiar tactic for all kinds of advertising. And it fits with an idea explored^[2] by the French literary theorist Roland Barthes in his 1957 collection of essays, Mythologies: that if a message is repeated enough, it becomes true.

Advertisers seem to have embraced this notion, and we see the same kind of messages repeated year after year, telling potential customers what they should aspire to – and invest in – to achieve their best and most romanticised ideals.

Whether those ideals are realistic or not is not the goal here. Advertising generates money for brands by creating a commercially driven view of what love should look like.

There are various techniques^[3] available to advertisers to shape those expectations. Emotional appeals, for example, try to evoke feelings of passion and desire.

Google^[4] did this effectively in a simple video which tells a love story through the medium of an online search tool.

To connect with consumers, some brands use humour^[5] to elicit a positive emotional response, like the men’s body shaver company which uses innuendo and suggestive storytelling^[6] to sell its product.

These narratives associate various emotions^[7] with specific products or experiences in order to persuade consumer to buy.

“Social proof”^[8] is a different advertising approach which involves relaying a specific message about what consumers can achieve if they turn to a particular brand. You too can be happy if you drink coffee with your new partner at a local branch of McDonalds^[9] for example.

This kind of marketing is designed to appeal to people’s need for social validation^[10]. It is advertising which implies that using certain products will lead to a fulfilling romantic life, and that your partner will really love you if you buy them a Toblerone this Valentine’s Day.

“Targeted marketing”^[11] is a method which focuses on creating personalised campaigns for specific audiences. This strategy has become more common as we spend more time online, providing big tech with plenty of data about our likes and dislikes.

And with online dating still growing in popularity^[12], targeted marketing is applied through apps like Tinder and Hinge, which are able to provide valuable insights into users’ preferences, enabling advertisers to tailor their messages to specific demographics^[13].

Marketing can also apply pressure to consumers to purchase gifts or experiences as a way of demonstrating affection. This could be anything from a box of chocolates to an engagement ring.

And who came up with the idea that one of those rings should cost the proposer the equivalent of two months’ salary? It was the jewellery company, De Beers.

In fact, it was only after the company’s 1947 advertising campaign with the slogan “A diamond is forever”, that diamond rings became an engagement tradition^[14] at all.

But depictions of diamonds and perfect lifestyles can lead to feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem when people compare themselves to idealised portrayals in the media. Research suggests that how we process these romantic ideals is affected by our own attachment styles^[15] – the patterns of bonding^[16] that we learn as children and carry into our adult relationships.

Feelings of inadequacy have also inspired alternative^[17] Valentine’s Day celebrations. For instance, an Indian chocolate bar created a campaign to “destroy Valentine’s Day”^[18] using the assumption that as soon as uncles join a trend, such as celebrating February 14th, it becomes instantly unfashionable – and Generation Z runs for the hills.

Another harmful effect of advertising romance is how young people’s perception of relationships is shaped by the media^[19] promoting unrealistic lifestyles, body shapes^[20] and beauty standards^[21]. These kinds of branded messages are being delivered to romantic consumers of all ages as the battle for their money and time continues.

Advertisers want you to buy their products. And to make this happen, they also want you to buy into fabricated expectations of romantic love – through repetition, strategy and a familiar date in February.

References

1. ^{^} shape our expectations (digitalcommons.montclair.edu)
2. ^{^} idea explored (www.tandfonline.com)
3. ^{^} various techniques (digitalcommons.montclair.edu)
4. ^{^} Google (www.youtube.com)
5. ^{^} brands use humour (www.taylorfrancis.com)
6. ^{^} uses innuendo and suggestive storytelling (www.youtube.com)
7. ^{^} narratives associate various emotions (www.tandfonline.com)
8. ^{^} “Social proof” (www.emerald.com)
9. ^{^} of McDonalds (www.youtube.com)
10. ^{^} social validation (ijrpr.com)
11. ^{^} “Targeted marketing” (globalacademicstar.com)
12. ^{^} still growing in popularity (www.euromonitor.com)
13. ^{^} specific demographics (propellant.media)
14. ^{^} became an engagement tradition (www.campaignasia.com)
15. ^{^} attachment styles (link.springer.com)
16. ^{^} patterns of bonding (www.simplypsychology.org)
17. ^{^} alternative (www.campaignlive.co.uk)
18. ^{^} “destroy Valentine’s Day” (campaignbriefasia.com)
19. ^{^} the media (www.tandfonline.com)
20. ^{^} body shapes (en.barbiepedia.com)
21. ^{^} beauty standards (encompass.eku.edu)